No risk, no reward

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility, opportunity, Risk

risk is realityHow often have you heard the phrase no risk, no reward?

When I was at school I was quite good at chemistry, well ahead of the class. I vividly remember one practical lesson when the chemistry teacher, a wonderful man called Dave Hudson, took me aside and explained that he was going to give me a different practical to complete compared to everyone else in the class. He said that it was extremely difficult but that he believed I could do it. It turned out to be a fairly complex procedure, using some dangerous chemicals. However, I pulled it off much to my own surprise and quite possibly to the chemistry teacher’s. That practical lesson could well have been the moment that catalysed my future career. A brilliant teacher took a risk and allowed me to learn that I was capable of much more than I had so far showed. I blogged earlier about fear and anxiety in learning and this is clearly linked to the concept of taking risks. Risk creates anxiety, anxiety opens the possibility of learning.

So my challenge, whether you are thinking of personal development or the development of those with whom you work, is to think about the amount of risk you take in your daily life and to push the boundaries a little. How often have you not asked (the boss, your colleague, your partner…) because you fear the wrong response? Will surely the worst that can happen is that they say no and if you don’t even ask then there is no possibility of them saying yes.

So next time you really want to try something new, go ahead and do it – I might even suggest that you don’t even ask, just go ahead and do it because it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and, moreover, you are much more likely to get it.

Skiing and a lesson in excellence

Geoff Roberts change

Downhill skierI have spent the last half-hour watching the men’s downhill skiing from Kitzbuhel. Now I used to be a passable skier before I got fat and unfit and have skied several of the mens’ downhill courses around Europe; so I have some idea of how difficult it is and remain awestruck that these guys approach 80 mph, skiing in 2 min something that used to take me 10. The whole experience set me thinking about what it is that makes us experts at something.

Other writers have suggested that in order to become world-class at something we must practice for at least 10,000 hours, what I know is that practice gets me closer to perfection. I also know, as do even world-class skiers, that every now and again I will fall off, make a mistake that might even prove catastrophic for the particular performance in which I am engaged. What I also know from my own experience is that if I am not falling off occasionally then I am not at the edge of my ability and am therefore unlikely to be learning anything. I am reminded of one of the key beliefs of any effective learner “no failure only feedback”.

The effective learner reframes failure as an opportunity to learn something. They look on failure positively, as a demonstration that they still have more to learn. The ineffective learner says to themselves “Well that shows that I cannot do that, I don’t think I’ll try again”.

I guess one of the highlights of my skiing career was one day when I tagged along behind a group of instructors who appeared to be going home. About half a dozen of them were skiing in line down the shortest route home, which was of course one of the most difficult. I can still bring to mind the memory and feelings of almost suddenly being at the bottom of one of the most difficult slopes I have ever been on and wondering how on earth that happened. Well I think it happened because I had belief that the instructors in front of me knew what they were doing, belief in my own ability and commitment to the task in hand (rather than being diverted by “might be”s such as “I might not be able to make this turn”). I recall just skiing. Some would call this being in the zone. However you label it I do know that I simply trusted my body to do what I knew it could do and somehow or other got my brain out of the way. Timothy Gallwey would talk about conquering the Inner Game.

So, here is a challenge for you – next time you face one of those really difficult tasks, one of those that you are not sure whether you can really do it, just throw yourself into it with the belief that you have all the resources you need in order to complete the task superbly. Just let it flow.

Getting going again – Wants vs Needs

Geoff Roberts Uncategorized

Relaxation - woman in hammock on beachI have just noticed that it is several days since I made entry to this blog. This, despite the fact that I have loads of material in my head to share with you. It set me wondering, what has got in the way to prevent me making my daily entry? After all, it is a matter of minutes to dictate my thoughts, transcribe and upload them.

Then I got round to thinking how often this happens in other areas of my life, and perhaps yours too – I have something that I want or need to do yet somehow or other I find other things more important. I could rationalise that I have spent the last few days fairly intensively coaching some clients and needed downtime to relax and prepare; indeed I can find all sorts of rationalisations about why I did not do this for the last few days. All of those would be making excuses to myself, the jargon is post-hoc rationalisation – when we look back we can always find reasons for things being done or not being done.

So, what is the diagnosis? I suggest that this is an area where we start to explore what I wanted to do, as compared to what perhaps I think I might need to do. As a matter of personal definitions, my wants are driven by internal values – what is important to me – whereas my needs tend to be driven by what I think other people want me to do. I find this a very important distinction, not least because when stick comes to lift my internal drivers will always win over some externally imposed demand.

Think of the various jobs you have to do, whether they are at home or at work, in this context. Are doing that job, is it on your list, because you really really want to do it, or are you doing it because someone else has suggested or told you to do it? Because the former ones will win out when pressure comes on and you can only deliver so much. The latter ones are likely to be candidates for delegation, to somebody who does want to do that piece of work. Remember that we all have different motivations and values and something that I think is a waste of time you might think is the best thing since sliced bread.

So, go through that Incompletes list, that list of yet to be completed tasks, and decide for every one of them “Is this something I personally want to do, that really really interests me, or is it something that I can delegate to someone else who would find it much more interesting because it meets their wants?”

The habit of learning

Geoff Roberts change

I, along with many colleagues in the profession often encourage coaching clients to start a learning diary. There is plenty of evidence out there that if we spend a few minutes every day sitting down reflecting on what has happened to us, trying to make sense of it and deciding how that is going to affect our future actions then we will become more effective in our lives generally. Strangely enough most clients do not actually do this, despite our exhortations, even though they will happily act on advice from other people on saving for a pension or what qualifications to study for next.

Then I started reflecting on what I had learned at school, that 2+2 = 4, that the French for The Sun is Le Soleil, that acids turn litmus paper red and lots of other facts. I do not recall ever once, in that alleged hotbed of learning, being asked to keep a learning diary. Yet there I was surrounded by teachers who, in principle, are familiar with the works of Piaget and Kolb yet don’t seem to want to pass that information on to the students. (There is a separate discussion about whether the teachers really understood these learning theories, or whether they regarded them purely as theory with no practical value!Perhaps that is the paradigm repeating itself?)

I recall someone asking me shortly after I completed my Masters degree what was the most important thing that I learned. Well, that masters degree was in change management and I learned loads and loads of change management theory but I remain convinced that the single most important thing I learned in two years was that when handling change one must start where one is. This very practical piece of advice came from trying to use the various management theories in my work as a change leader and realising that none of them actually recognise that the real world was not as pure as the theoretical world in which they had been formulated.

I recall a colleague on that masters course who was daunted by the reading list; he needed to sit down with one of the tutors and be taught that it was not necessary to read a text book from cover to cover, but that it was okay to work from the contents list and the first few paragraphs of each chapter to identify those parts of the book that might be particularly relevant. He, nor indeed I, had not been taught this at school and certainly for me the lack of instruction in learning how to learn led to a major disconnect when I went from the structured instructional environment of a grammar school to the unstructured find-your-own way environment at the University with the results that I failed my first year and subsequently the degree. My grammar school thought that all I needed to learn was a load of facts, not how to learn.

So to go back to school. My question to you is what do you think is the most important thing for young people to learn at school? You will no doubt have your own answer, mine is that every young person needs to learn how to learn and to acquire the habit of learning

In much of our lives we acquire learning passively and collect habits good and bad without really thinking about how those habits have developed. But how would it be if Boeing designed an aeroplane passively, or an engineer designed a bridge passively? No, they actively learn about how to be more effective at designing aeroplanes and bridges by studying the successes and failures of themselves and others.

So let’s apply this discipline more widely in our lives. Let’s take five or 10 min at the end of every day to reflect upon what happens to us that day, perhaps the most significant incidents or the unusual ones. Write it down and write down what actually happened and how you felt abou;t it think about how it was the same as or different from your previous experiences and feelings and write that down; work out how it fits with your current understanding of the world (or not) and whether it might be necessary to change your opinion or understanding in order to fit this real new experience into your world; then finally work out some way of testing this new world map and using this new knowledge

Your learning diary and the habit of learning may well turn out to be the most valuable 10 minutes you spend every day of your life. Actively acquire the habit of learning. Do let me know how you find your experience of writing a learning diary.

Stretch your brain

Geoff Roberts Uncategorized

Energised brainIf you are anything like me your brain will have been on ‘idle’ for the last week or so – occupied with eating, drinking, socialising…and if you are anything like me, it now needs waking up – the metaphorical stretches that we do before exercise to make sure our muscles are warmed up properly. Anyone who has ever done yoga or other forms of exercise knows that unless we use and stretch our muscles regularly they tighten and weaken. Well, the same applies to our brain. Just imagine what your brain might be like if it was NEVER challenged and stretched from childhood – it’s the challenge and stretch that helps us learn and keeps our thinking gear fit and able.

One of the exercises we often challenge our coaching clients to complete is to do something different(ly) every day. It might simply be to read a different newspaper, or travel to work via a different route or mode of tansport, it might be to brush your teeth with the ‘wrong’ hand or to spend 10 minutes just watching the birds instead of the television…there are thousands of ‘differents’ that you could think of and do and any one of them offers the prospect of some learning and certainly keeps the brain agile.
So our Level 1 exercise is simply to do something different every day.
Level 2 is to record it and consoider what you learned about yourself or the world as a consequence of the action – and there is always some learning.

Go on, have a go – do something different every day for a week and record your feedback as comments on this article.

Twixtmas – Day 5

Geoff Roberts Twixtmas

Twixtmas description

Here we are on the last day of the year and Day 5 of Twixtmas – a time perhaps for reflection and perhaps for ‘foreflection’ (to create a word)

Day 5 – Do something for your future. Maybe you could:

1. Write a list of 10 things you will do during 2011
2. Count your blessings and ask how you can share your blessings for the year ahead.
3. Ask a spiritual question: “Why am I here?”
4. Be more creative – aim to think flexibly and ask beautiful questions for every day of 2011.
5. Identify 3 action steps to make your goals for 2011 happen now.

So, here’s my contribution to my future and I am slightly ashamed to admit that this was the most difficult of my Twixtmas blogs to write. It seems such a simple small committment, yet I know that it will make a difference

I commit to taking action on my ideas sooner rather than later.

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all – Norman Vincent Peale

Twixtmas – Day 3

Geoff Roberts Twixtmas

Twixtmas campaigner and GREEN director, as well as my great friend, Andy Green said: “Arm yourself with pen and paper and make some time during the Twixtmas break to give yourself a five-day happiness work-out. Expressing your appreciation and thinking about the positive aspects of your future, or even writing affectionate things, have been scientifically proven to work and make you feel better in yourself.”

Day 3 Write a short email or letter to someone who you like or care for. Why not tell them how good they are and why they are important to you?

Dear L,

I would love you to read this and think about it. You are wonderful; you are intelligent; you are good looking; you can be thoughtful and funny; you are unique; you are and will always remain your own woman.

Always remember that your mum and your dad love you more than you can imagine – they both want the best for you, to be successful and, probably above all, safe. Whatever they say or do to you or for you is done with that in mind – you might not always like it but they always mean well, and perhaps you are now starting to realise that just occasionally they have a point and maybe even do sometimes know best 🙂

As for me, well I never could and never wanted to be anything other than a good friend. I never could and never will replace your dad although I will be here for you when you need someone to talk with, someone to ask for help or even a shoulder to cry on. Friends do not always agree, yet the mark of true friendship is a willingness to let others have their own opinions and ways of doing things without falling out.

Life is full of challenges and struggles, and of delights and disasters – those are where we learn to be strong and become ourselves.  You can have anything you want when you work for it – decide what you really want and go for it; always be willing to ask for help, we will all support you all the way.

Live, love and laugh,

Geoff

Twixtmas – Day 2

Geoff Roberts Twixtmas

You can transform your personal happiness by doing a five-day work out during the Twixtmas break – the period between Christmas and New Year. By following some easy-to-do ‘happiness workout’ tips you can make yourself happier, ready to step into 2011 with more optimism and energy.

Today’s assignment –  Write about something good you have done for someone else.

For me, there is a risk of being self-serving by writing about what I have done for others, a risk that I write about something that I think I have done when the recipient has a different view. In some of our trainings we explore the parallel concepts of “Self- or Others-Focus” Some who thinks or acts in a Self-Focussed way is primarily concerned about the implications for them personally of any situation, the Others-Focussed approach is more concerned with the impact on others than on themselves. I admit to being largely self-focussed and am a fan of the psychologies that suggest that ultimately we are all self-focussed, with even others-focussed individuals acting at some deep level to satisfy a self-focussed psychological drive (at a simple level you might think of this as doing things for others because it makes you feel good).

Anyway, what good have I done for someone else? During the ‘volcano crisis’ in early 2010 when flights around Europe were cancelled for several days I was ‘trapped’ in France and needed to get back for a client. I was formulating a plan to hire a car, drive to La Manche, get a ferry across… when I met a couple who were in a similar position (they were staying with someone for whom my sister cleans) and also needed to get back. Without hesistation I offered them a couple of seats in my car if they could get themselves a ferry crossing. The plan came off perfectlyand I was delighted to subsequenlty receive a contribution to the costs and to find that my generosity was being talked about in France. Sometimes, life just feels good.

So, what are you going to write about?

Twixtmas – Day 1

Geoff Roberts Twixtmas

Here we are on Day 1 of Twixtmas…

You can transform your personal happiness by doing a five-day work out during the Twixtmas break – the period between Christmas and New Year. By following some easy-to-do ‘happiness workout’ tips you can make yourself happier, ready to step into 2011 with more optimism and energy.
The binge happiness five-day programme consists of completing what is called a ‘happy diary’ for each of the five days of Twixtmas, December 27-December 31, which focus on the happy, positives in your life.
Writing down positive thoughts and feelings has been proven to beat just talking about them. Scientists believe that writing encourages the creation of a structure and storyline which can help people make sense of what has happened in their past and also guide and direct them towards finding solutions. Just talking about problems can often be unstructured, disorganised, and even chaotic. As a result, it can add a sense of confusion to your emotional state.
Twixtmas campaigner and GREEN director Andy Green said: “Arm yourself with pen and paper and make some time during the Twixtmas break to give yourself a five-day happiness work-out. Expressing your appreciation and thinking about the positive aspects of your future, or even writing affectionate things, have been scientifically proven to work and make you feel better in yourself.”Today’s workout is:

Day 1 Write down four things from the past week which have made you feel grateful. Then think about and write down how one of the best experiences in your life made you feel.

So here is my Day1 writing:

Over the last week, I have been grateful for

  1. having the opportunity to share my material and emotional wealth with so many people over Xmas,
  2. the efforts of my colleagues in Artworks during difficult times,
  3. that my granddaughter Niamh is such a delight and for
  4. the thought and grace that Lucy put into my Xmas presents.

Thank you all for your help and support.

Now for a ‘best life experience’ (Note that this is ‘a’ best experience, not ‘the’ best – that would be too much of a challenge and risk downgrading some experiences just because at this very moment they do not feel top of the list). I want to write briefly about one evening about 15 years ago when I sat alone on the beach in Sri Lanka watching the sun set.  The sea rippled gently in the background and as I watched trancelike in the deep heat of the day the sky became suffused with liquid gold the more I watched the more relaxed I became; sitting on the warm sand I felt connected to the earth, at peace and at one with nature. For that half hour as the sune slid below the horizon, I could have been anywhere and nowhere.

When you are stuck

Geoff Roberts Uncategorized

I’ve been racking my brains about what earth shattering revelations to include in today’s blog; not exactly writer’s block, more a question of what to choose from the wealth of ‘stuff’ (technical term there!) in my head. Then I remembered a piece of advice we often give our coachees, especially when they are stuck or stalled at a task.

Do you sometimes find yourself in that state – not being sure what to do (next), perhaps having so many options that it is difficult to choose which one to take? For some people, this is a recipe for doing nothing on the basis that there may be a better choice, or whatever I do may be inappropriate. Of course, doing nothing achieves nothing – and I am not talking here about a deliberate decision to defer action, but about ‘stuckness’ when inaction becomes the default.

So, what’s the simple piece of advice?

When you are stuck do something, do anything.

If you continue stuck, then you cannot get whirling around Kolb’s learning cycle – an essential part of his four stage learning cycle is action, followed by consideration of the effects of the action (feedback), figuring out what’s going on and finally devising and trying new approaches. In a nutshell, this is the source of the learning mantra “There is no failure, only feedback”. Taking action, any action generates feedback and so gets the learning cycle spinning.

So, the next time you find yourself stuck, just remember that any action is better than no action – and learn from the feedback.