There is no failure, only feedback

Head in hands with failure

 

My friend Andy Green has decided to label this week “Failure Week” and it set me thinking. Those of you who read this blog will recognise that it has become rather occasional – one might say that I have failed to write something every day, which was my original intent.

However in my world failure is only really failure if I fail to learn from it. So what have I learned?

  1. I am most successful blogging daily when I have a plan – usually to write a series of articles on a particular topic (see Twixtmas or Metaprograms earlier).
  2. I need to sort out the ‘Schedule’ function in my WordPress – it doesn’t work and it bugs me that I have to go in every day to workaround the fact that my scheduled post didn’t make it to your wonderful eyes.

What I have learned from earlier experience is that a list of more than 2 or 3 items is less likely to get completed than a very short list – eat the elephant one bite at a time. So that’s it. I suggested elsewhere that I might write an A-Z of personal development, so I am off to compose the first few, any suggestions for topics (especially for Q, X, Z) will be very welcome.

Empower your people

Empower your peopleI once had a client complain to me that “I have told my people they are empowered, yet they still don’t get on and do things.” Of course the heart of the problem lay in the very way he expressed himself – “I told…” with its implicit hierarchical power.

I cannot empower anyone, all I can do is create an environment in which people will feel able to make their own decisions and to coach and support my people in ways that encourage them to take hold of the reins themselves rather than be constantly looking upwards for direction.

Many organisations, no, let me correct that – many bosses – see Kotter’s fifth step “Empower others to act on the vision” as the most challenging. This is the step which requires them to hand over their carefully crafted vision to the workforce who can take action to deliver it. Change it. Leadership is no field for control freaks.

A significant part of the work in this step is to remove the controls that kept the organisation in its prior status quo because these will get in the way of change and progress. Just think of a lorry facing downhill with a couple of wooden chocks under its wheels to stop it actually rolling. What is the easier way to get it rolling downhill, get lots of people at the back and push it over the chocks or get one person to quickly kick the chocks out of the way?

This is a time to encourage risk-taking, to promote experiments and non-traditional ideas and activities. It is a time for truly open dialogue about the vision and how it might be achieved-remember that the key skill in dialogue is listening, not speaking. It is a time to lead, not manage, a time to encourage your people by praising them for trying and failing (there is no failure, only feedback) as well as for their successes.

Essentially, you need to set the direction get out of people’s way.

Change – management or what?

Chaneg ahead road sign

I was recently involved in a discussion about whether change can happen in organisations without the use of Change Management.

For me, the challenge of the phrase “Change Management” is an embedded belief that change CAN be managed. Yes, we may be able to manage the installation of some new piece of kit or software but when it comes to wetware that all changes because people are much less predictable (and more likely to bite back) than machinery.

To be sustainable, change needs to happen at the ‘right’ pace for the individuals (whoops, I nearly typed ‘people’) involved – push them too hard and you will end up going backwards to deal with resistance, move too slowly and you will lose followers’ enthusiasm. For this reason, any ‘change plan’ – and the existence of such a plan is implied by use of the term ‘management’ – is bound to fail.

I prefer to look at change as a strategic thrust – “This is probably where we need to get to, we will find out more along the way, do you want to go there, what can you do to help us get there?” Hold a Vision and then move as fast or slow as you can whilst keeping the people with you.

My metaphor is to light fires within the business. Some of the fires will catch, spread and maybe even attract others; some fires will die out and unless these are really critical areas (in which case keep stoking the fire in different ways until it catches) move on and find someone/somewhere more ‘productive.

One key piece of learning for me over the many years I have spent in change is to “do what you can, where you can, when you can”.

Context and immediacy in learning

tree of lifeThese days I tend not to lose much sleep over some of the wackier government edicts that come our way. However, a recent one suggesting that reading tests for six-year-olds should include “non-words” set me thinking. Apparently the rationale is that including non-words allows testing of whether or not pupils can decode using the phonics system that is prevalent in our primary schools these days. The counter argument, to which I admit I subscribe, is that reading is about obtaining meaning not simply translating symbols on a page into vocal utterances.

So, why am I writing about this in a personal effectiveness blog? Well, it seems to me that the debate centres on the whole issue of the relevance of context in learning. It is widely accepted that if a learner understands how to apply a new piece of learning and, better still, has an opportunity to practice that learning within a very short timescale then the learning will be much more effective. How, I wonder, does your average six-year-old understand the concept of or use a non-word?

I think this question of context poses interesting challenges for us trainers and our trainees. As a facilitator of learning (I am really not very keen on the word’ trainer’) my challenge is to be constantly anchoring new material in the current reality of my learners. It is no good just talking about the concept of personal responsibility or networking, I must help my learner identify a specific situation in which they can try out/practice the ideas to which I am introducing them.

So what happens when we turn the tables and I think about this topic of context and immediacy as a learner? I remember, many many years ago, being sent on a short course to learn how to use spreadsheets. My boss at the time thought this was a good idea and in the long term it probably was, however what he had missed was that neither he nor I had any immediate application for this new knowledge that I was acquiring. I came back with all this wonderful stuff in my head and got on with my day job while what I had learned slowly decayed to the point at which when I finally did need to use a spreadsheet I had to start almost from scratch in my learning. From that point onwards, I only ever went on training courses when I either had or could create an immediate application for the new knowledge.

When I apply this thinking to my current field of helping others in their personal development, the challenge is all too apparent. I can sit down and draw pretty diagrams of elephants in circles of Completions Gestalts and lots of other theoretical models, but it is only when my client goes out and actually does something different every day or rewards themself for completing a task that they really understand the power of the ideas I would like to get across. To my coaching clients – please remember that your home play is extremely important! To anyone else reading this blog, just takes 30 seconds to think about the implications of what you have read for your own situation and how you are going to put into practice this context of context and immediacy in learning.

It is not the sound of words that is important, it is their meaning.

Attitude is all

attitude changes everythingI make no apology for using someone else’s words today – Charles Swindoll seems to say it all…

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Charles Swindoll

Trying harder is not the answer

snake painted on eggI am walking along holding an egg in my hand when suddenly I manage to drop it and break it. Do I tell myself “Hold onto the egg more tightly” or do I find a better way of carrying the egg?

Does a stressful event start a cascade that ends up making even you more stressed?
When someone in authority challenges you or corrects your behavior, do you to push back and make the behaviour worse?
Does a failure set you on a path to more failure?

These questions seem philosophical or even paradoxical, but in fact I think they get to the heart of why some people succeed and others don’t. We can choose to create (virtuous) cycles that move us up or endure (vicious) cycles that drag us down.
A policemen hassles a teenager who is acting up. The teenager escalates. The cop escalates. Someone gets arrested – and you can bet it isn’t the cop!.
A sales call is going poorly because the prospect doesn’t perceive the salesperson is confident. She responds by becoming even less confident. No sale.
A mistake is made. The stakes go up. Rattled, another mistake is made, and then again, until failure occurs…

James Bond is a hero because the tougher the world got, the cooler he got. Symphony conductors don’t endure the pressure of a performance, they thrive on it.

If being a little behind creates self-pressure that leads to stress and then errors, is it really suprising that you frequently end up a lot behind.
Customer service falls apart when mutual escalation or non-understanding sets in. Management falls apart when power struggles or miscommunication escalate. Education falls apart when students respond to poor exam results by giving up.

Someone who gets better whenever he fails will always outperform someone who responds to failure by getting worse. This isn’t something in your DNA, it’s something you can learn or unlearn.
The useful response to ‘failure’ is not to try harder, to buckle down and grind it out. The response that works is to understand the nature of the cycle and to change it from the start. You must not fight the cycle, you must transform it into a different cycle altogether. It’s a lot of work, but less work than failing.
When the snake pushes you to recoil in fear, that’s your cue to embrace the trembling fear and do precisely the opposite of what it demands. This won’t work the first time or even the tenth, but it’s the path to an upcycle, one where each negative input leads to more productivity, not less.
Carry that egg in a bowl.

Competitive collaboration

Michel Roux' service 'apprentices'

One of the things that really struck me about the recent Michel Roux series was how different it was from other ‘reality TV’ shows. Unlike Ramsay’s offerings, there was no shouting, bullying or swearing; unlike Sugar’s Apprentice there were no over-confident 20-odd year old ****s biting at each other and unlike the jungle there was no Gillian Keith! More a case of a group of individuals working to become a team in the hope that some of them could win a life-changing prize.
Never once did I see or hear any evidence of an individual trying to get one up on their colleagues or to position themselves as a ‘winner’. No, it was so evident throughout that this was a team game, even though there would ultimately be winners. What a wonderful demonstration of the power of teamwork to allow individuals to show themselves at their best.

Learning to Learn

When I was at school, and it is not all that long ago, the careers advisers could look at our academic and other strengths as well as our preferences and make a pretty good stab at the sort of careers for which I would be most suited – chemist, bank manager, bus driver, dustbin men etc. And indeed for most of my generation that is what happened. I was a keen little amateur chemist, with a chemistry set that would probably get me into trouble with the anti-terrorist squad these days, and I went on to be an analytical chemist before extending my scientific education into sewage science and other aspects of environmental science and regulation. It was only towards the latter part of my career that I started to take a serious interest in organisational change and personal development, the fields in which I operate nowadays.

It would not have crossed my careers adviser’s mind that I might want to be a online games designer or a developer of operating systems for mobile telephones (which did not exist when I was at school) or even an engineer fitting satellite receiving dishes to individual domestic properties to allow them to receive the several hundred television channels available these days. None of these jobs even existed when I was at school. This is the dilemma that so many of today’s schoolchildren face.
It has been suggested that the pace of change in technology and society if such that most of the children starting school today need to be prepared to do jobs that do not even exist and cannot currently be envisaged. So with what skills do we equip those schoolchildren? Yes, they will need to be literate and numerate and the ability to speak Chinese or Spanish or one of the Indian dialects is likely to prove more helpful than speaking French or German. However all of this is just the fundamental basis upon which more specialist knowledge is likely to need to rest. So what specialist knowledge? How can we know if the jobs, and even industries, which will employ today’s schoolchildren have yet to be invented?

Well it seems to me that there are two core skills that will be needed. Firstly the ability to work constructively with others – fields of knowledge are getting ever smaller, we know more and more about less and less, and effective work in the future will require comprehensive collaboration amongst different people with different knowledge bases. Secondly, and arguably the most important attribute of all, if the ability to learn. The HR pundits have been talking for some years now about lifelong learning and the more forward of my colleagues have recognised that they need to keep their skill base topped up. In my lifetime, I have had three fundamentally different careers each of which necessitated learning substantial new knowledge and skills; in the lifetimes of children at school today they might expect a fundamental career change every 10 years or so. I vividly remember introducing a computer-based customer complaints and operations management system which required many of our frontline staff to operate keyboards for the first time in their lives. Today’s generation grow up with keyboards and Xbox controllers almost as appendages to their hands. But what will they need to learn to use so that they can do the job they will be fulfilling in 20 years time?

It has become increasingly clear that the one sustainable Advantage that education can give our children, and we can give ourselves as adults, is the ability to learn quickly and effectively. This does not just happen. We can no longer ‘finish our education’ after university and today’s kids can no longer simply fill their head with facts. I was never explicitly taught how to acquire knowledge or a skill, let’s make sure that today’s pupils are being equipped for the unknown world into which they will be ejected all too soon.

A quick thought on the importance of language

Question mark - WHY?
When someone else does something that puzzles me, I am often tempted to ask ‘Why?’ – and I always get an answer that justifies the original act.

Whenever you ask someone ‘why’ they did something, you are inviting them to justify their actions and, in their mind, this actually reinforces the behaviour. The question somehow invokes defensive routines in the respondent’s mind.

Rather than ask why someone did something there are more helpful questions you can pose. Ask them what they were trying to achieve, or how what they did helped them. These are quite different questions and far more useful because they activate a different part of the brain to ‘Why?’. You might get an answer that helps you understand how the original action was a good idea, or you might get a better understanding of the rationale for the action and so be able to formulate a different action that would get the result you both want.

On the other hand, it is good to ask why someone did something that turned out well, as this will reinforce the desired behaviour.

“Why do you read these blog articles?” 🙂

Skiing and a lesson in excellence

Downhill skierI have spent the last half-hour watching the men’s downhill skiing from Kitzbuhel. Now I used to be a passable skier before I got fat and unfit and have skied several of the mens’ downhill courses around Europe; so I have some idea of how difficult it is and remain awestruck that these guys approach 80 mph, skiing in 2 min something that used to take me 10. The whole experience set me thinking about what it is that makes us experts at something.

Other writers have suggested that in order to become world-class at something we must practice for at least 10,000 hours, what I know is that practice gets me closer to perfection. I also know, as do even world-class skiers, that every now and again I will fall off, make a mistake that might even prove catastrophic for the particular performance in which I am engaged. What I also know from my own experience is that if I am not falling off occasionally then I am not at the edge of my ability and am therefore unlikely to be learning anything. I am reminded of one of the key beliefs of any effective learner “no failure only feedback”.

The effective learner reframes failure as an opportunity to learn something. They look on failure positively, as a demonstration that they still have more to learn. The ineffective learner says to themselves “Well that shows that I cannot do that, I don’t think I’ll try again”.

I guess one of the highlights of my skiing career was one day when I tagged along behind a group of instructors who appeared to be going home. About half a dozen of them were skiing in line down the shortest route home, which was of course one of the most difficult. I can still bring to mind the memory and feelings of almost suddenly being at the bottom of one of the most difficult slopes I have ever been on and wondering how on earth that happened. Well I think it happened because I had belief that the instructors in front of me knew what they were doing, belief in my own ability and commitment to the task in hand (rather than being diverted by “might be”s such as “I might not be able to make this turn”). I recall just skiing. Some would call this being in the zone. However you label it I do know that I simply trusted my body to do what I knew it could do and somehow or other got my brain out of the way. Timothy Gallwey would talk about conquering the Inner Game.

So, here is a challenge for you – next time you face one of those really difficult tasks, one of those that you are not sure whether you can really do it, just throw yourself into it with the belief that you have all the resources you need in order to complete the task superbly. Just let it flow.