Life is for living

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility, focus, opportunity, procrastination, selection, time management

Richard Bach - OneI have just been reading another wonderful little book by Richard Bach called “One”. I first came across Richard’s books when I was introduced to Jonathan Livingston Seagull over 30 years ago. JLS can take you half an hour to read or a lifetime; it can be a simple story about a Seagull are a complex parable about learning. For many years I never left the house without a seagull on a chain around my neck, until the day that I realised the seagull had flown away when the chain broke,  never to be seen by me again.

Anyway, back to this latest book “One”. He posits a situation and an exercise that I challenge you to take on yourself. Somehow or other  he meets himself in the future and that future self  knows, for certain, that he only has six months to live. Let me give you the exercise by quoting from the book:

“I think we ought to take this napkin here”, she reached into her purse, “and this pencil, and we ought to list what we want to do most and make this the best six months, the best time in our lives. What would we do if there were no doctors with their dos and don’ts? They can’t cure you, so who are they to tell others what to do with whatever time we have left? I think we ought to make this list and then go ahead and do what we want.”

I don’t know whether the subject of this piece was lucky or not that he knew for sure that he had another six months to live. I don’t know whether or not I will be alive when you read this entry-there is no reason why I shouldn’t be but who knows what happens on the roads or in that complex biochemistry that keeps is running every day?

So my challenge to you is to do the exercise, to figure out what it is that you want to do (not need to do – that’s usually someone else’s agenda), to make a list and to get out there and do it. Oh, there will be challenges, but isn’t a life full of those anyway? Yes, you might upset a few people but you are living your life and you probably only have one of them so you might as well get the most out of it.

And some people will tell you that it’s impossible, selfish, not affordable, etc  – those are their hangups. So let them deal with them rather than dump them on you. I urge you do this exercise , after all you might only have six months to live.

Getting going again – Wants vs Needs

Geoff Roberts Uncategorized

Relaxation - woman in hammock on beachI have just noticed that it is several days since I made entry to this blog. This, despite the fact that I have loads of material in my head to share with you. It set me wondering, what has got in the way to prevent me making my daily entry? After all, it is a matter of minutes to dictate my thoughts, transcribe and upload them.

Then I got round to thinking how often this happens in other areas of my life, and perhaps yours too – I have something that I want or need to do yet somehow or other I find other things more important. I could rationalise that I have spent the last few days fairly intensively coaching some clients and needed downtime to relax and prepare; indeed I can find all sorts of rationalisations about why I did not do this for the last few days. All of those would be making excuses to myself, the jargon is post-hoc rationalisation – when we look back we can always find reasons for things being done or not being done.

So, what is the diagnosis? I suggest that this is an area where we start to explore what I wanted to do, as compared to what perhaps I think I might need to do. As a matter of personal definitions, my wants are driven by internal values – what is important to me – whereas my needs tend to be driven by what I think other people want me to do. I find this a very important distinction, not least because when stick comes to lift my internal drivers will always win over some externally imposed demand.

Think of the various jobs you have to do, whether they are at home or at work, in this context. Are doing that job, is it on your list, because you really really want to do it, or are you doing it because someone else has suggested or told you to do it? Because the former ones will win out when pressure comes on and you can only deliver so much. The latter ones are likely to be candidates for delegation, to somebody who does want to do that piece of work. Remember that we all have different motivations and values and something that I think is a waste of time you might think is the best thing since sliced bread.

So, go through that Incompletes list, that list of yet to be completed tasks, and decide for every one of them “Is this something I personally want to do, that really really interests me, or is it something that I can delegate to someone else who would find it much more interesting because it meets their wants?”