There is no failure, only feedback

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility

Head in hands with failure

 

My friend Andy Green has decided to label this week “Failure Week” and it set me thinking. Those of you who read this blog will recognise that it has become rather occasional – one might say that I have failed to write something every day, which was my original intent.

However in my world failure is only really failure if I fail to learn from it. So what have I learned?

  1. I am most successful blogging daily when I have a plan – usually to write a series of articles on a particular topic (see Twixtmas or Metaprograms earlier).
  2. I need to sort out the ‘Schedule’ function in my WordPress – it doesn’t work and it bugs me that I have to go in every day to workaround the fact that my scheduled post didn’t make it to your wonderful eyes.

What I have learned from earlier experience is that a list of more than 2 or 3 items is less likely to get completed than a very short list – eat the elephant one bite at a time. So that’s it. I suggested elsewhere that I might write an A-Z of personal development, so I am off to compose the first few, any suggestions for topics (especially for Q, X, Z) will be very welcome.

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One day at a time

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility, focus

One day at a timeDo some of your goals sometimes seem a bit too challenging, a bit  too long-term or a bit too much to take on? Do you find it hard to make and maintain the committment necessary?

Well, I came a cross a suggestion that I found helpful – take it one day at a time. Now just a minute, isn’t that what is always advised? well, what I heard was a slightly different take.

The suggestion was to commit to your goal, or more accurately the action needed to achieve it, one day at a time. When you wake up, promise to yourself that you will eat only healthy food, run for 30 minutes, contact one new potential customer, whatever…today. If you miss it, you miss it, get on with life and re-make that commitment again tomorrow when maybe you will be more successful.Yoou will probably hit your action more often than not, each step still moving you forward, but without the weight of months or years of effort in your head weighing you down.

I find it easier to do something one day at a time than ‘for ever’. Maybe you will too.

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Empower your people

Geoff Roberts change

Empower your peopleI once had a client complain to me that “I have told my people they are empowered, yet they still don’t get on and do things.” Of course the heart of the problem lay in the very way he expressed himself – “I told…” with its implicit hierarchical power.

I cannot empower anyone, all I can do is create an environment in which people will feel able to make their own decisions and to coach and support my people in ways that encourage them to take hold of the reins themselves rather than be constantly looking upwards for direction.

Many organisations, no, let me correct that – many bosses – see Kotter’s fifth step “Empower others to act on the vision” as the most challenging. This is the step which requires them to hand over their carefully crafted vision to the workforce who can take action to deliver it. Change it. Leadership is no field for control freaks.

A significant part of the work in this step is to remove the controls that kept the organisation in its prior status quo because these will get in the way of change and progress. Just think of a lorry facing downhill with a couple of wooden chocks under its wheels to stop it actually rolling. What is the easier way to get it rolling downhill, get lots of people at the back and push it over the chocks or get one person to quickly kick the chocks out of the way?

This is a time to encourage risk-taking, to promote experiments and non-traditional ideas and activities. It is a time for truly open dialogue about the vision and how it might be achieved-remember that the key skill in dialogue is listening, not speaking. It is a time to lead, not manage, a time to encourage your people by praising them for trying and failing (there is no failure, only feedback) as well as for their successes.

Essentially, you need to set the direction get out of people’s way.

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Commit to Action

Geoff Roberts change, choice, language

Yoda“Are you really committed, or are you just going to try?”

I often hear others, and occasionally myself, say “OK, I will try to do ….”

Well here is a simple little exercise for you to do – go on, do it now, it will take you longer to read the instructions than do the exercise.

Put a chair in the middle of the room; stand behind the chair; now try to pick it up.

NO, I did not say ‘pick it up’. I asked you to try to pick it up. You can’t can you? You either pick it up or you do not pick it up!

The use of the word “try” carries with it an implicit possibiity of failure. Is that what you really want for your goals, or do you want to achieve them?

So go on, make that committment – decide that you will achieve that goal.

Remember, it was Yoda who said “There is no try, there is only do or not do”.

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Change – management or what?

Geoff Roberts change, flexibility, focus, metaphor, opportunity, strategy

Chaneg ahead road sign

I was recently involved in a discussion about whether change can happen in organisations without the use of Change Management.

For me, the challenge of the phrase “Change Management” is an embedded belief that change CAN be managed. Yes, we may be able to manage the installation of some new piece of kit or software but when it comes to wetware that all changes because people are much less predictable (and more likely to bite back) than machinery.

To be sustainable, change needs to happen at the ‘right’ pace for the individuals (whoops, I nearly typed ‘people’) involved – push them too hard and you will end up going backwards to deal with resistance, move too slowly and you will lose followers’ enthusiasm. For this reason, any ‘change plan’ – and the existence of such a plan is implied by use of the term ‘management’ – is bound to fail.

I prefer to look at change as a strategic thrust – “This is probably where we need to get to, we will find out more along the way, do you want to go there, what can you do to help us get there?” Hold a Vision and then move as fast or slow as you can whilst keeping the people with you.

My metaphor is to light fires within the business. Some of the fires will catch, spread and maybe even attract others; some fires will die out and unless these are really critical areas (in which case keep stoking the fire in different ways until it catches) move on and find someone/somewhere more ‘productive.

One key piece of learning for me over the many years I have spent in change is to “do what you can, where you can, when you can”.

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Context and immediacy in learning

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility

tree of lifeThese days I tend not to lose much sleep over some of the wackier government edicts that come our way. However, a recent one suggesting that reading tests for six-year-olds should include “non-words” set me thinking. Apparently the rationale is that including non-words allows testing of whether or not pupils can decode using the phonics system that is prevalent in our primary schools these days. The counter argument, to which I admit I subscribe, is that reading is about obtaining meaning not simply translating symbols on a page into vocal utterances.

So, why am I writing about this in a personal effectiveness blog? Well, it seems to me that the debate centres on the whole issue of the relevance of context in learning. It is widely accepted that if a learner understands how to apply a new piece of learning and, better still, has an opportunity to practice that learning within a very short timescale then the learning will be much more effective. How, I wonder, does your average six-year-old understand the concept of or use a non-word?

I think this question of context poses interesting challenges for us trainers and our trainees. As a facilitator of learning (I am really not very keen on the word’ trainer’) my challenge is to be constantly anchoring new material in the current reality of my learners. It is no good just talking about the concept of personal responsibility or networking, I must help my learner identify a specific situation in which they can try out/practice the ideas to which I am introducing them.

So what happens when we turn the tables and I think about this topic of context and immediacy as a learner? I remember, many many years ago, being sent on a short course to learn how to use spreadsheets. My boss at the time thought this was a good idea and in the long term it probably was, however what he had missed was that neither he nor I had any immediate application for this new knowledge that I was acquiring. I came back with all this wonderful stuff in my head and got on with my day job while what I had learned slowly decayed to the point at which when I finally did need to use a spreadsheet I had to start almost from scratch in my learning. From that point onwards, I only ever went on training courses when I either had or could create an immediate application for the new knowledge.

When I apply this thinking to my current field of helping others in their personal development, the challenge is all too apparent. I can sit down and draw pretty diagrams of elephants in circles of Completions Gestalts and lots of other theoretical models, but it is only when my client goes out and actually does something different every day or rewards themself for completing a task that they really understand the power of the ideas I would like to get across. To my coaching clients – please remember that your home play is extremely important! To anyone else reading this blog, just takes 30 seconds to think about the implications of what you have read for your own situation and how you are going to put into practice this context of context and immediacy in learning.

It is not the sound of words that is important, it is their meaning.

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Trying harder is not the answer

Geoff Roberts change, choice, opportunity, strategy

snake painted on eggI am walking along holding an egg in my hand when suddenly I manage to drop it and break it. Do I tell myself “Hold onto the egg more tightly” or do I find a better way of carrying the egg?

Does a stressful event start a cascade that ends up making even you more stressed?
When someone in authority challenges you or corrects your behavior, do you to push back and make the behaviour worse?
Does a failure set you on a path to more failure?

These questions seem philosophical or even paradoxical, but in fact I think they get to the heart of why some people succeed and others don’t. We can choose to create (virtuous) cycles that move us up or endure (vicious) cycles that drag us down.
A policemen hassles a teenager who is acting up. The teenager escalates. The cop escalates. Someone gets arrested – and you can bet it isn’t the cop!.
A sales call is going poorly because the prospect doesn’t perceive the salesperson is confident. She responds by becoming even less confident. No sale.
A mistake is made. The stakes go up. Rattled, another mistake is made, and then again, until failure occurs…

James Bond is a hero because the tougher the world got, the cooler he got. Symphony conductors don’t endure the pressure of a performance, they thrive on it.

If being a little behind creates self-pressure that leads to stress and then errors, is it really suprising that you frequently end up a lot behind.
Customer service falls apart when mutual escalation or non-understanding sets in. Management falls apart when power struggles or miscommunication escalate. Education falls apart when students respond to poor exam results by giving up.

Someone who gets better whenever he fails will always outperform someone who responds to failure by getting worse. This isn’t something in your DNA, it’s something you can learn or unlearn.
The useful response to ‘failure’ is not to try harder, to buckle down and grind it out. The response that works is to understand the nature of the cycle and to change it from the start. You must not fight the cycle, you must transform it into a different cycle altogether. It’s a lot of work, but less work than failing.
When the snake pushes you to recoil in fear, that’s your cue to embrace the trembling fear and do precisely the opposite of what it demands. This won’t work the first time or even the tenth, but it’s the path to an upcycle, one where each negative input leads to more productivity, not less.
Carry that egg in a bowl.

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No risk, no reward

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility, opportunity, Risk

risk is realityHow often have you heard the phrase no risk, no reward?

When I was at school I was quite good at chemistry, well ahead of the class. I vividly remember one practical lesson when the chemistry teacher, a wonderful man called Dave Hudson, took me aside and explained that he was going to give me a different practical to complete compared to everyone else in the class. He said that it was extremely difficult but that he believed I could do it. It turned out to be a fairly complex procedure, using some dangerous chemicals. However, I pulled it off much to my own surprise and quite possibly to the chemistry teacher’s. That practical lesson could well have been the moment that catalysed my future career. A brilliant teacher took a risk and allowed me to learn that I was capable of much more than I had so far showed. I blogged earlier about fear and anxiety in learning and this is clearly linked to the concept of taking risks. Risk creates anxiety, anxiety opens the possibility of learning.

So my challenge, whether you are thinking of personal development or the development of those with whom you work, is to think about the amount of risk you take in your daily life and to push the boundaries a little. How often have you not asked (the boss, your colleague, your partner…) because you fear the wrong response? Will surely the worst that can happen is that they say no and if you don’t even ask then there is no possibility of them saying yes.

So next time you really want to try something new, go ahead and do it – I might even suggest that you don’t even ask, just go ahead and do it because it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and, moreover, you are much more likely to get it.

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Positivity is infectious

Geoff Roberts change, choice, flexibility, focus

I met a colleague of mine, Chris Edwards, in Leeds yesterday. Chris has overseen a fundamental transformation and improvement of education throughout Leeds over the last 10 years and is now out on his own looking for opportunities to help the world. I always find my time with Chris inspirational – he is irrepressibly positive and upbeat, his favourite word is “brilliant” and his belief in people, especially children, is awesome. We talked a lot about beliefs and how the beliefs that parents embed in their children can either help or hinder them.

I would never dream of telling my four-year-old granddaughter that the picture of a tree that she has just presented me with looks nothing like a tree and that she cannot draw. It seems almost intuitive to me that constant negative messages are likely to leave her believing that she is no good and lo and behold she will be no good. Chris tells me that there is some research that shows that the lowest performing children have parents who give them eight times as many negative messages as positive and the highest performers have parents who give them eight times as many positive messages as negative.

If this makes so much difference the children, then why not adults as well? If you work with anyone, and you don’t have to manage them you simply have to work with them, then perhaps you might like to check how often you praise them versus how often you give negative feedback. Yoou DO give feedback don’t you?

And what about yourself? What about that self talk that constantly goes on inside our heads? Is yourself talk supportive or destructive? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you can take things on and do a good job or is everything too difficult? Self belief is all-important. As Henry Ford once said

whether you believe you can
or you believe you cannot
you are probably right

Believe in others, believe in yourself and be sure to give yourself and others great feedback.

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Skiing and a lesson in excellence

Geoff Roberts change

Downhill skierI have spent the last half-hour watching the men’s downhill skiing from Kitzbuhel. Now I used to be a passable skier before I got fat and unfit and have skied several of the mens’ downhill courses around Europe; so I have some idea of how difficult it is and remain awestruck that these guys approach 80 mph, skiing in 2 min something that used to take me 10. The whole experience set me thinking about what it is that makes us experts at something.

Other writers have suggested that in order to become world-class at something we must practice for at least 10,000 hours, what I know is that practice gets me closer to perfection. I also know, as do even world-class skiers, that every now and again I will fall off, make a mistake that might even prove catastrophic for the particular performance in which I am engaged. What I also know from my own experience is that if I am not falling off occasionally then I am not at the edge of my ability and am therefore unlikely to be learning anything. I am reminded of one of the key beliefs of any effective learner “no failure only feedback”.

The effective learner reframes failure as an opportunity to learn something. They look on failure positively, as a demonstration that they still have more to learn. The ineffective learner says to themselves “Well that shows that I cannot do that, I don’t think I’ll try again”.

I guess one of the highlights of my skiing career was one day when I tagged along behind a group of instructors who appeared to be going home. About half a dozen of them were skiing in line down the shortest route home, which was of course one of the most difficult. I can still bring to mind the memory and feelings of almost suddenly being at the bottom of one of the most difficult slopes I have ever been on and wondering how on earth that happened. Well I think it happened because I had belief that the instructors in front of me knew what they were doing, belief in my own ability and commitment to the task in hand (rather than being diverted by “might be”s such as “I might not be able to make this turn”). I recall just skiing. Some would call this being in the zone. However you label it I do know that I simply trusted my body to do what I knew it could do and somehow or other got my brain out of the way. Timothy Gallwey would talk about conquering the Inner Game.

So, here is a challenge for you – next time you face one of those really difficult tasks, one of those that you are not sure whether you can really do it, just throw yourself into it with the belief that you have all the resources you need in order to complete the task superbly. Just let it flow.

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