A friend of mine is due to fly in to the UK from Germany today – snow permitting (that’s snow in Germany, they had a big dump shortly after we left on Wednesday). Will she get here? Will the snow close the airport or the roads to it? Will there be a delay? All these questions we have met before, and will no doubt meet again.

Now I know my friend is not one of those passengers who will spend the day before fretting over whether or not they will make it, or use time at the airport shouting at staff to ‘get things sorted out’ if they are delayed – she knows better than to stress herself over stuff she cannot change.

One of my favourite TLAs is CIA; it’s a favourite because in my context it does not stand for the Central Intelligence Agency. I find it helpful as a way of responding to what happens around me. I ask myself, “Can I…”:

Control the happening? – in which case take that control and make it happen how you want it to.

Influence what might happen? – in which case choose whether or not to use your influence.

Accept what is happening? – if you cannot Control and choose not to Influence, then you really must accept what is happening and get on with it.

Remember that Influence is always a choice; we write to our MP, we go on the ‘million man march’ against the Iraq War, we explain our predicament to the airline checking receptionist, we ‘suggest’ which restuarant to go to, a little man weaves his own loincloth before walking across a whole country making some salt and ultimately getting the British out of India. Everything is influenceable, it’s up to you to decide where to put your limited resources and whether or not the possible change is either likely and/or worth the effort.

So, how stressed do you get by events that you cannot change (snow?) or choose not to influence?